Too late for apoligize?

Hey, its been a while. I am very very sorry and i guess i have a good reason too.. for this post I am going to somehow write a letters to the people that i had affected even though they can't read it... Ok here it goes..


Hey, i know that ive been acting a bit strange and odd. Im sorry. I know ive been quite moody and "emo" (still hate that word). Im sorry. How do I start this? I guess ever since the start of who knows when I m a negative person. I can't help it, ive always been pessimistic and view things as the worst case scenario. Because of this, making friends was kinda a challenge to me ever since i was young. Ive never approached people, nope never, thankfully my old friends from my previous school were kind and it worked out very well. However in this new committee, im stuck. So i guess i kinda felt mad and disspointed whenever I feel a bit left out, be patient. Yes that is some reasons why I keep doing it everyday, i cant help it. U guys made it seem like im not even there which hurt me coz i know some of you for a few years. Thankfully i still have trustworthy friends, but i still doubt them. Im sorry for beings suspicious of u guys, im just scared of losing the only people that i could trust. I guess ever since the grade 7 drama palooza ive been traumatized and i guess u could say, would do anything to please people, and it made me the person i m not actually am. I watch every word that came out of my mouth, hopefully i wont offend people, because you wont know who would be the prey and who would be the hunter next. This year i know its different. We grew up and mature, but my thinking hasnt in this term, i still think that somehow u guys still have the same personalities as the people in year 7. It was a tormetting year for me , the quiet one. The one always stuck to the person who was left behind. It hurt me too much the insults those boys made, it made me cry and made me feel disgusted at myself whenever i looked in the mirror. now ive changed, and im sorry. Im sorry boys for still doubting wether to forgive you. But now focusing back, im sorry for the people around me now for making you uncomfortable with my uncontrolable emotions, im sorry my close friends for acting controlling and blaming you sometimes, and im sorry for taking a lot time to realize this.